Silver on my palm

I don't know what your feelings about psychics are. Mine were definitely ambigious for a large portion of my life - "what hacks" I thought (in my less aware states BP (Before Pagan)). But once I decided to go down the path, I wanted to give them a shot.

I found Erin through the Druid Journal, a lovely blog that I regularly go to for a more Druidic perspective. Before I thought about it, I read her blog, logged into Paypal and sent her money for a phone reading. Man was I nervous. I got an email back from her, asking for a time, and we talked a little on the email - me mostly trying to transfer my absolute fright over the internet. I mean, what happens if I don't have any guides? What happens if she reads me and finds out I'm a totally bad person (like my family tried to instill in me) what happens if she's a fraud?

Anyway, I waited with trepidation for the day it was. And so it began.

She called me, and talked to me for a little bit (mainly, "calm down, it's not horrible" kind of stuff.) She went quiet for a bit, and then she started.

"Your guides" (I exulted - I HAD GUIDES!!!) are sending me a picture of hot chocolate." (WTF?)

As we talked, it became clear that part of the reason I was here was to help my husband rediscover his joy and how to handle his emotions (she confirmed, as I suspected, that we were planned to be together. Such a nice feeling) That was a big part, and then she interrupted herself.

"wait - what is this about your mother??" I fell into a nervous panic. "What do you mean?"

She said my guides said that something I would have to relearn for myself was the fact that my parents lived in a fear place - tried to bring everything down to their level - and that NOTHING THEY DID - not the lack of love, the neglect, the other things - WAS MY FAULT.

By this time of course I was totally crying soundlessly, helplessly. My heart was burning. She said that was because my heart chakra had been closed, and was prised open a bit from our discussion. She said it was most important for me at this point to try and open my heart chakra, and to work on that. She recommende dexercises from her husbands and her blog, and said that I should try to work on that.

With the latest development - my subconsious faery and his litany of a couple nights ago - I believe she's right, and I've really got to work on that. I doN't know what happens when you open the heart chakra but I'm totally planning on doing it. This dream I had will help me, I think...those emotions were definite, powerful, overwhelming ones that affected me deeply.