Goin' nuts?

Well, here it is, another day, another attempt to meditate. Last night I tried when I was in bed. The Cat had finished purring (he purrs about 20 minutes, I think he purrs himself to sleep) beside my head (he sleeps on my pillow up against my cheek) the hubs was snoring gently, arm flung over me, and I was warm in my little cocoon.

So I shut my eyes (I can't sleep lately anyway, more later) and envisioned a white light around me. Then, when I could see a consistent white light from head to toe, looking at myself with my third eye (at least I can tell that, it burns when I use it) I envisioned red healing energy washing over myself. After that had faded out, and it was white once again, I relaxed and just waited, listening to the little Cat and hubs breathing...it was pretty soothing.

It was better this time; I managed to work better with the colors, although I desperately want to meet my guides and learn more about them.

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Update on the job: I am sick sick sick to get it. The people absolutely rock, I am busier than I ever have been at any other job AND the info is interesting. The client is huge, this agency does all their work worldwide, and it just has quality oozing out of it. I want it so frickin' bad I could burst.

This is such a class act. I go there in the morning (taking two hours to commute) entirely cheerfully. I work the entire day and I am busy. I leave reluctantly after 9-10 hours there. I can say I've never felt that about a job before.

Hopefully this week at the end I'll know if I get it or not (we were going to try for two weeks to see). I am absolutely terrified that I won't get it. I'm doing everything I can in my power to get it, I'm wondering if a little white spell might help boost it additionally.

Is this a false use of power? If not, I'm going to work something up tomorrow night when I have time.

I want it so bad I could cry.

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Last but not least: the Cat gets castrated this Friday and I'm worried about that too.

I AM A NERVOUS WRECK EEEEE.

I'm going to try and meditate tonight, perhaps that will help.