Revelations

I was never one to count my worth by a job, but I never fully realized just how much I was letting myself down through them. What do I mean? I've been a pretty opportunistic (read: not picky) worker: I picked the job that was easily available. It didn't hurt when I was younger, but what I didn't think about was that those jobs would pigeon-hole me into a sector, and I'd be screwed.

It became worse once I came to Germany, and realized how strongly they focus on degrees (read: almost nothing else is looked at. Maybe, *maybe* your experience. Maybe)
I've found my mistake out now, tho. This job is perfect for me - perfect. I feel my creative self being used for the first time in my job (and not just outside it), I look around me now with pleasure, I see and feel my way.

Of course there are downers: five hour commute daily, staying late, keeps me from the hubs and the Cat, can't really post so daily anymore. But somehow it's okay, it's dealable, when the job makes sense and brings me this kind of satisfaction. I didn't think it was possible - holy cow, I have a career now.

The pure change from subdued, slightly resentful worker to active, intelligent coworker is some sort of dreamlike thing. There are ways to deal with those downers: I'm looking into a little brother for the Cat, to keep him from being so lonely; the hubs gets to fly instead of ride a train for five hours every week; I've got the ultimate train card that lets me ride any train I can get, and I'll move to Köln here sometime; writing the blog posts on the train...

For me, the positives far outweigh the negatives (at least for now, LOL). I'm proud of myself for what I've accomplished (I taught myself this path from scratch and tears, and it took some time). Together with my witchy way, my Cat and the hubs, and this job, I feel ... happy. Truly happy. It's unbelievable. First time in my life.

It even helps my witch path in positive ways. Amazing.

What a switch, for this witch.